Getting to ‘Yes’

What are the real keys of getting other people to do what you want ?

How on earth do you get others to do what you wish

There are lots of show on television these days , books and trainings (for example NLP and hypnotherapy) that say they will show you how to get people to do what you want. But , is it really possible ?

Well , the truth is yes AND no!

In reality we can’t say a few magical words and get others to do anything we want – and that’s a blessing , as it would suggest that we all could potentially be programmed by anybody .

Yet everyday we are influencing people even without realizing it . The truth is , we cannot NOT influence.

Whenever you enter a place or are near another person , you are having an effect on their thoughts and behaviours only by being there in the same place .

Every time you say anything you are affecting what is happening in that human’s mind.

Whenever we deliver any communication we are influencing someone , and thence it would be a good idea to know how we are influencing people and how we can do it better to get better results !

These are a few keys to influence:

1. Begin from a ‘win-win’ mentality
   Others will generally know if you are trying to negatively manipulate them – even if it works for a little , they will not like it. It is important to consider a positive outcome for other people and not just for us
2. Ask yourself ‘ What do they want ?’
   The only way to effectively influence anyone else is to ask yourself what is in it for them. If you can answer that simple question and demonstrate how they can get it , you can move mountains !
3. Get into rapport
   When I first went on an NLP Training I discovered some incredibly strong skills for building rapport. This is developed through matching and mirroring – really doing similar things to the other person, or copying someone’s behaviour. For example , assuming a similar physiology to them – if they have their arms crossed , cross your arms. Also look for similar areas of mutual interest .
4. Put yourself in the perspective of the other person
   Try to really internally construct what is going on for the other person. If your communication doesn’t work , keep altering what you are doing until you are getting the outcome you desire . Remember that if your interaction doesn’t get the desired result , it may be largely to do with your way of communicating it, not them – be flexible!
5. Offer the other person something
   The law of reciprocity says that when we give somebody something , they will want to do something in return for us . So take any opportunity to help other people – at some point in the future you’ll be glad you did when you find they help you !

Follow these keys to influence and you’ll get some pretty great results. There are many more steps that can also make a difference , and as a friend of mine who is a hypnotherapist in London once said ‘resistance in other people is normally a sign of our own inflexibility’.